Sometimes , times like this make it tougher than ever. Sometimes I just feel lonely and sad and incoherent. Sometimes I struggle deep into the middle of the night. Sometimes, or mostly,  I just feel vastly insufficient. Unwanted. Lost. Like I’m not enough. Like I’m never enough.

 

Never enough for you.

Never enough for anyone.

 

Unworthy of love, of affection, of you.

 

Like I’m left behind. Not even as an after thought. Just abandoned. Not even as a backup plan. Unrequited. Not worth your effort .

 

Nights like this, it sucks. Sucks big time.

 

When you want to share about it, all everyone does is to tell you it’s all right and it’s not a big deal. Get over it, get over yourself.

 

It’s scares me that even I’m not allowed to put myself in first place. That it’s okay that I’m just treated as just some piece of your unwanted emotional scrap.