am at amanda’s house.

Was playing mahjong but has handed over my seat to mr.crappypilot.

many things in my life still remain predictable.
while others….

ohwells.
badluck remains for some.

i wonder is it because time hasn’t arrived for anything to happen yet.

shit still continues to happen to certain people.
and there are still some who are quite very affected by life.

we can’t change any much in our lives, i suppose?

the more one wishes to escapes,
the more one is deemed to remain trapped.

I hear alot, see alot, imagine alot and feel alot too.
thou i often complain im tired, but i constantly give thanks for the life im able to live…
and the people whom i meet.

even thou shit still happens,
but i suppose it happens for a reason?

i suppose?

okays.
i sound as if im trying hard to pursuade myself,
which in fact,
yes i am.
trying.
quite hard.

imagine imagine imagine.
wonder wonder wonder.

-laughter just broke up at the mahjong table AGAIN-

hmm.

even though I seemed to had gotten over certain stuff, but it remains to be seen.
why?

i see some people around me all the time.
-no, not THAT kind of stuff-

i imagine some people appearing.
imagine seeing them.
around the corner.
at the bus stop.
on the mrt.
in the lift.

imagination brings them near me….
every second and every breath.

i hate it.

i hate that im hating it.

and i hate it even more when i accepted everything just the way it was.

i often wonder if im a loser,
as much as a loser the insults has made me to be.

i wonder.
quite often i guess.

when often spoke off, one wonders even more.
and more.
and even more.

im tired.