freaking arsehole idiot.

there are some things which is was done in the spur of the moment
and usually regrets follow behind.
or sweet memories perhaps.
Or both.

run away and keep running away and keep turning away.
perhaps im the only one insistent enough to keep on pressing.
whatever effort one puts in, there might not be any result back.
thankyou for letting me know this.
thanks very much.

promises, promises.

Never to hear about me from anyone else?
I never did tell anyone else about it.
I saved it all up for you.
For your ears only.
Yes, for you and only you.
No matter who held out their hand and wanted to pull me up or be my shoulder
I didnt give in or tell anyone.
And kept all the hurt suffering pain hate to myself.

Because.
it was a Promise.

what I only got back for keeping quiet was
“why are you telling me this”
and
Circumstances dont allow.
It aint anyone’s fault. not you not me not anyone.

i’ve pondered and wondered how to reach out again for help
but
i dont wish to get hurt
by mindless words
or the i-cant-blame-anyone-circumstances-dont-allow

Secrets which I kept close to the heart.
Pain which I bore that didnt belong to me.
Anxiety which I suffered when i saw u hurting urself.

Remember the heart which bled when you smashed ur fist and everytime a tear slid from your eyes?

It’s bleeding again now.

run away, continue with it, if you wish.
act ignorant, pretending as if nothing happened, if you wish.

Cuz the heart would stop bleeding
Im sure of it.
one day someday someway somehow.
or perhaps it’d juz dry up and die.
or perhaps it’d live the damage.
juz let it be.